2 Ways To Deal With Match Pressure
At the end of each year in my area, there is always a big tournament that my father actually runs and I help with.
It is always strong, and I always want to really win it.
I do find there is more pressure than normal; my results have though been pretty good, just have not won it.
Sometimes I get into negative thinking about playing really weak player at this tournament and things falling to pieces.
Generally I have to say; mentally my tennis has improved to close to almost unbreakable with your manual’s help.
I can say confidently I don’t think there is anything I can’t handle mentally.
The pressure that you feel comes from two parts:
1. You want to control the outcome
You mention that you “really want to win”.
There is a delicate mental process that you must do in your mind in order to use the drive to win and not let it create the pressure.
You need to use this drive and the energy for hard work and never give up regardless of the situation in the match.
BUT when you are actually on the court, focusing on the winning can be dangerous. Because as soon as the winning exists in your mind so does the losing.
And when you start thinking about losing that affects your performance.
You can either train yourself to keep your focus on winning and how fantastic that will feel and this energy will drive you through the match.
An even better way is to let go of the winning and losing and focus on playing.
You can control how you want to play: give 100% of effort, attack the backhand, play left – right, serve out wide and so on.
Do not focus on whether you will actually MAKE the shot because that is not within your control but focus on what you are TRYING to do.
Just the goal – a wide slice serve for example. You can always try and you cannot fail in trying so there is no pressure.
But I do understand that this is sometimes a difficult concept to grasp since in our society nothing counts without results (outcome).
You have been subconsciously conditioned that you can control the outcome when in fact you cannot.
Use logic to check what you can and cannot control and then let go of your limiting beliefs.
2. You are affected by the opinions of others (who want you to achieve a certain outcome)
It’s impossible to avoid being affected by opinions of others since this has been hardwired in our brain for thousands of years.
But again, you can use logic and instead of reacting automatically to the opinion or expectations of others think whether their expectations are realistic and achievable by you.
And whether you actually owe them anything. Do you really need to please them?
If they expect you to win a tournament, then they have no idea about the outcome and the process.
So their opinion carries no weight. You can either educate them or just let go of their opinions as much as you can.
Note that MOST people want you to win so that THEY feel good since they are somehow connected to you.
This is the basis of all cheering and fans and also many wars.
If you are a Slovenian and a Slovenian tennis player wins a tournament, you feel good about it.
It somehow makes you better, right? 
But in fact there is no real connection; it’s just a creation of your mind.
You are not better if someone who you have never met who happens to live in the same country as you wins a tennis match 1000 miles away from where you are.
How does that make you better?
It doesn’t. It’s just a trick of your mind trying to blind you from the feeling of unworthiness and lack of success in your life.
The mind tries to prevent emotional pain all the time. When you feel bad about yourself, you feel pain.
The mind will try to blind you from this by telling you, that you are good if someone who is connected to you is good.
Of course that connection is only in your mind.
So hopefully you now understand why others want you to win. So that THEY can feel good by blinding themselves from the pain.
Some of your closest family members and friends may actually want you to win so that YOU feel good, but they will inevitably bring their own feelings into play.
So once you understand all this and you know that many people are trying to USE YOU so that they feel good, you can decide whether it is really your DUTY to make other people feel good or is this their own problem and totally unrelated to you.
When you make the right choice, the pressure of other people’s opinion will be gone
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