Stop Losing To Players You Have Never Played Before
My son was MVP for three years in high school and had the most career wins of anyone in the state.
He was recruited, does great in conditioning and playing the others on the team. He wins against all but number one seed.
Yet when he goes to play other teams/individuals he is losing. It is so sad.
I just keep telling him how proud of him we are, but I know he is hurting. Coaches are great, but it sounds like his confidence is crashing. Help.
I’ll try and make by best guess on what may be going on…
You mention that he plays well in his team but not well when he plays with other players.
The main reason for that is his belief. He has played many matches with his team mates and has won them many times.
So whenever he plays the match again with them, he believes that he will win again (based on his past experiences) and thus plays calmly and confidently.
The result is that his tennis is very good and he wins many matches.
But when he plays a new player, he has no past experience to rely on.
Unfortunately your son doesn’t believe in his tennis skills enough to bring that confidence against an unknown player.
So what your son needs to realize is that you don’t need past wins to make a new one. There is a first win against anyone…
And perhaps instead of telling him that he is really good (which he will not believe you, because he needs REAL life experiences to prove that), ask him whether his non-confident type of thinking OR not believing in himself works.
You see, his problem starts with his thinking, not with the actual real circumstances.
He could be skilled enough to win against a certain player, but his thinking – not believing in himself – makes him self-sabotage during the match.
Your son needs to see CLEARLY the connection between his thinking and his level of play.
Not believing in himself – poor performance
Confident – good performance
Once he is 100% sure that his thinking hurts his game, he will be able to stop it or change it into positive thoughts.
I suggest he does the thought control and other related exercises found in the tennis psychology section.
And more thought for him:
If he still believes that he cannot win the match, how does he want to lose?
Fighting and playing his best or giving up and waiting to be shot off the court like a tennis rookie? 
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September 29th, 2007 at 2:26 am
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