4 Reasons Why Junior Tennis Players Behave Badly
My ten year old son has been playing tennis for about a year and a half. He has always done well in team sports like basketball and baseball, but seems to be experiencing major frustration with tennis?
Last evening, I went to watch him play for the first time since last summer at his insistence. I sat very close to his court, but did not respond to poor shots.
To my surprise, he did not handle his temper very well on the court. He banged his racket and threw it numerous time in frustration. He also became enraged that I was watching him and tried to get me to move out of sight.
I have not had any complaints about his behavior in class, but he is very strong-willed and does not like to lose. His tennis pro made an announcement before the next round of play indicating a player would be asked to leave the center for throwing their racket or showing any sign of unsportsman-like behavior.
He did much better during his next two matches, but he won and I stayed out of sight.
I am just at a loss of what to do with my son. One pro at the center offered to get me a copy of a sixteen second rule?
It has to do with what my son should do in between points? Any suggestions from you would be greatly appreciated.
Why do young tennis players behave badly on a tennis court?
Here are some possible reasons:
1. They want to hide their real level of tennis skills
Tennis is very demanding sport and even when you play well you still make mistakes.
Your son doesn’t want to show that he is really not that good at tennis (although he may be, but he doesn’t know the difficulty of tennis so he thinks he isn’t that good) so he shows these outbursts as if “he was really unlucky to miss that shot. Normally he wouldn’t miss that.”
Even adults do that. Just go around some club courts and watch this “hiding the truth” behaviour.
What to do?
Show him how the pros miss shots all the time. If you make a mistake in tennis you are not bad. If he wants to win, ask him whether this behavior helps him to win or not.
2. Following the herd
He and his peers are in puberty. They are very smart at this age. 
They don’t want to behave nice. His peers would make fun of him if he behaved nice.
And top ranked juniors are typically full of ego (as their parents!) so they throw rackets. When you are ranked below them, you “learn” how to behave from them.
What to do?
Tell him not to be a sheep in the herd and use his own head. He needs to choose how to behave rather than just follow the rest.
3. Disappointment
Roger Federer was a horrible example at 14 to 16 years of age. Rackets were flying all over the court and he was sent off the court almost every day.
Why?
Because he felt he had the potential but he didn’t know how to use it. He felt he was wasting his talent.
What to do?
Encourage him to stay on track, explain that it takes time to master tennis and show him the consequences of his behavior.
Also give him time. It’s very unlikely that he will behave like that in a few years.
4. Defense mechanism
If your son criticizes himself, he prevents you (or his coach or anyone else) from criticizing him. If he made a mistake and didn’t react to it, someone else would, right?
No one wants to let the mistake go without trying to correct it. But it’s the WRONG approach in tennis. (probably in life too)
Mistake is just a feedback. Everyone is trying their best all the time but tennis (and life) are so difficult that we make mistakes.
What to do?
Figure out against whom is your son protecting. Whose criticism hurts him so much that he chooses to hurt himself (which hurts less!)?
If it’s you or your spouse, take time to understand the game of tennis. (and life)
Is it possible that he won’t make a mistake in one of the most demanding sports on this planet?
Final thoughts: you can also define some rules / limits of behaviour. I am not a parenting expert so feel free to research this subject deeper.
My suggestion is to define rules: if you throw a racket, the match is over. He needs to agree of course.
After that, follow the rules. Kids in puberty cannot control their emotions as well as adults (hmm, and I am not so sure about adults too. ) so they will break the rules every now and then.
It’s not a big deal but what they want to see is whether you are disciplined enough to follow them.
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November 13th, 2007 at 8:12 am
i think because tennis is very exciting, so people sometimes get too excited and lose control.
November 20th, 2007 at 8:13 am
This is tough situation. I have been coaching for 20 years but when it comes to handling my son’s temper, I am at lost. Like Tomas said, I tried the softball approach, talk to him, explain to him. In addition, I also tried the hardball approach, make him run laps, make him do situps. All these approaches help a bit but not much .I still think that since they want to win so much, they play with a lot of fear rather than fun. I am trying to make it more fun by reducing my own tensions. All in all, it just takes time, like Roger did.
April 26th, 2008 at 10:33 am
My son is 13 years old and he has been playing national ranking tournaments for the past 3 years. He never throws any tantrum on court but I have seen a lot of better players do that. The only reason that I can see is that their frustration stems from their parent’s expectations and this puts more pressure on them to win matches.