My 8-year old daughter played a match and lost 1:4 and 1:4. Her opponent was not that much better.
She should be able to beat her but my daughter lost all her service games and served without control.
I watched this match and I guess she missed because she was nervous. She cannot control herself.
Whenever she is not better than around 50% of serves in, I can already see a double fault. Don’t ask what my husband is feeling…
I know that you have various experiences about this case, pls help.
Hi and thanks for sharing. I’ll go straight to the point.
You say:
“Whenever she is not better than around 50% of serves in, I can already see a double fault. Don’t ask what my husband is feeling…”
So you and your husband are both feeling NERVOUS as soon as your daughter misses the first serve, right?
And now you expect 8 year old girl NOT to be nervous? Can you NOT be nervous? Can you do it?
Can you believe in her serve even when you know it’s not perfect yet and that her percentage is around 50%? You probably don’t and so doesn’t your daughter.
That’s why she misses.
YOU have to be the first to believe. YOU have to be the first to be calm.
She will follow. She is always following. Even now when you are both nervous. So is she. She can feel you.
This is step 1.
Step 2 is to figure out why are you all nervous. What does it mean to you if she loses or misses?
Take it easy. Children, especially girls are not mentally strong at 8 years old. (with very very few exceptions) They need to be supported when they lose and never criticized.
This tennis journey of your daughter is not only about her changing. It’s also about you changing.
Especially the father who puts so much pressure and nervousness on all results. She cannot handle that.
It is through her results and play that you will see how you affect her.
Hopefully your love for her will be stronger than your ego to be more than other people. Hopefully your love for her will make you change and be less nervous and less obssessed with the results.
Then she will play better and you’ll also get that satisfactory feeling of being a parent of a good tennis player.
This is the part of the parent in this tennis journey.
We coaches teach technique, tactics and how to calm down and focus if there are nerves present. Your role as a parent is that there aren’t any nerves present.
If your daughter feels that she dissapoints you with a loss, she will be nervous. When she is nervous she won’t play well.
Read these two sentences again and again to really get them.
It is that simple problem. The solution lies deep in you.
