How Can Tennis Parents Help Their Children With The Mental Game?
My son is 12 years old and has been playing tennis for 7 years. We have been told that he has lots of talent and that he has natural tennis abilities.
However, he does have a mental weakness. Before he starts a match, he is very nervous which in some cases will continue through the match. He would eventually get upset if he makes an error and eventually lose focus.
He would also ’scream’ from frustration to the point where he does not care if he loses or not. I have told him to be positive and to control his anger but he just can’t do it. He says that he trys but I am not too sure about that.
I have seen him lose to persons that he should be able to beat easily but once the fear takes over, he loses focus and eventually the match. How could we (parents) help him to overcome this?
Let me first give you some resources where I have already answered similar questions to yours:
This blog’s category of tennis parents includes more than 10 articles on such topics.
On my main site, you’ll find 2 articles about parents and junior tennis players:
How Parents Create Pressure For Their Junior Tennis Players
Mental Toughness Of Junior Tennis Players And How Parents Can Help
Although you’ll find most answers in these articles just a few thoughts:
1. Before he starts a match, he is very nervous which in some cases will continue through the match.
That’s normal, it’s not a weakness. All top players are nervous when they play in the big situation. For a boy at 12, every match is a big situation. The goal is not to be nervous but to handle it. To accept it and play the match. If you don’t think about it, it will eventually dissolve.
2. He would eventually get upset if he makes an error and eventually lose focus.
He must have been taught, that errors are bad and that he shouldn’t make them. This opinion about mistakes can form also outside of tennis court… While the player tries to avoid mistakes, he cannot guarantee that with 100% certainty. No one plays without mistakes. The sport is too difficult for a human to be perfect.
He needs to understand that - sooner or later. Most of the feedback about mistakes comes from you (parents) - just in every day life and when he’s on the court. How did he learn that mistakes are so bad?
3. He would also ’scream’ from frustration to the point where he does not care if he loses or not.
Yes, he crosses the line: check the article about activation for more understanding.
4. I have told him to be positive and to control his anger but he just can’t do it.
This must be done in practice many times. The above article about activation covers how to do it but it would be really good if he has a knowledgeable coach who can guide him through this.
5. I have seen him lose to persons that he should be able to beat easily but once the fear takes over, he loses focus and eventually the match.
If you look only at tennis skills, then yes, he could beat them. If you include the mental game, then you see that he cannot - at least not right now.
The mental game needs to be practiced the same as the physical game. And in the same way as he may be talented in tennis skills, some other kids are talented in mental skills.
The goal is to improve one’s weaknesses and make the best of their strengths in the long term.
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September 13th, 2008 at 9:55 am
I have a 8 years old son who is a junior tennis player. he is very good during practice but keeps getting unsuccessful results during competitions. As a mother I need help to help him for success.
September 18th, 2008 at 2:45 am
My son is a tennis player. He is twelve years old. He is very interested this game. He is daily practice after four years. And given a many trails. My son is following my advice. But I say that many children’s to hard work. One day he is a successful tennis player. But parent’s guideline is very importance in your children’s.
waqar
September 22nd, 2008 at 7:16 am
Your insights and articles are awesome. Thanks for putting up this blog.