Dear Tomaz,

I have a daughter who is 14 years old and we are to put her in an academy to improve her tennis. My gut instinct is that she will not make it because she will not be very tall maybe 5ft6″.

She is very strong in the mind and an extremely hard worker. Should I be discouraged or should I go for it?

She will be going to the 6th Sense Tennis Academy.  I am so confused?

Interesting question and I hope I will answer in a way that will give you some food for thought.

First, you say that you feel she will not make it. Make it to where? Become what? Top 10 in world?

Is that all that counts? Do you feel that she will not make it as a human being who is not judged by the external results but by internal values and actions?

I believe she will definitely get better if she goes to train in the academy even if for 2 weeks. But whether that goal fits your expectations which are completely based on your false ego (please follow the link to read about false ego!) than that is a different thing.

What are her expectations and how far does she want to go?

Remember that she is a child and has no idea how many people in the world practice tennis. She may be dreaming of being #1 but after 5 years of hard work and realizing the real tennis life I am quite sure that she will be happy with her results whatever they are as long as she put good effort into her training.

Secondly, I went to the website of the 6th Sense Tennis Academy and here’s a part from their homepage:

“The philosophy of the 6th Sense Academy is based on the motto that performance can only be achieved if it is not pursued as a goal in itself. The results of any activity are essentially dependent on a mindset.

In order to reach the best of his own resources, each individual must spend his energy on what he masters most. Results, however, remain unpredictable. The only manageable parameter of performance is the aptitude to deliver his best effort on the D-Day.”

Or in simple English: the player CANNOT control the outcome (the result, the ranking, the wins, the points), he / she can only control the effort.

Your real questions should be: if I take my daughter in the 6th Sense Tennis Academy will the academy staff succeed in teaching her to put 100% effort into everything that is important in her life?

But since even the 6th Sense Tennis Academy cannot control the outcome (since they work with people not robots), even that outcome is not certain.

And thirdly, being a tennis parent is very tough, I understand that. But I ask all tennis parents to stop looking at their children as an INVESTMENT.

Meaning – I invested so much money and so much time and now I want some results. The player in any sport cannot control the outcome. Your child can do the best she can but she may not be able to achieve good results – as you define them.

If you do decide to pay for your child’s tennis and if you do decide to spend time for this, then don’t expect anything tangible in return. The only thing you should ask your child to do is to put 100% effort into training and competition if that’s what he / she wants to pursue.

Do it because you love your child and he or she wants to pursue this journey for whatever reason they want to. They will undoubtedly learn some very important life lessons.

Related posts:


• Winning Is NOT Your Responsibility
• 2 Ways To Deal With Match Pressure
• How You Can Always Finish The Practice In A Positive Way
• Why Am I Not Giving My Best?
• Dealing With Rough Patches In Tennis And Life

This entry was posted on Sunday, October 5th, 2008 at 2:38 pm and is filed under Tennis Parents. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.