Pressure To Keep Winning Matches
Ever since this year, my whole family has really gotten into tennis and they’re always talking about it. This continues to actually scare me because both my older brother and younger sister are getting really good fast and so am I.
But now my mom and dad have suddenly invested a lot of money into different camps for me and it truly frightens me because now when I play a competitive match I feel a ton of pressure from them because I am worried that if I lose that I am wasting their money and their time.
I have lost only about 2 matches from the past two years of my competitive play and now I feel a very high amount of pressure to continue winning.
I used to really enjoy playing tennis but now I lost that will to always play because of this reason I mentioned above. Any sort of advice from you would be so so helpful!
To come to some conclusion about your issue, you would need to openly discuss this with your parents. No matter what I say, you’ll never be sure what they think – unless you talk with them.
You have to ask them the exact same question you asked me and then talk about it. It’s very likely that your parents have never read sports psychology books and don’t really understand that you cannot guarantee a win. This is sport and it’s unpredictable.
Secondly, if you improve and move to higher levels, you will reach a level (99,99% sure) where you will NOT be able to win any more. You will reach your limit and will constantly lose.
These are some things that a parent must KNOW.
If they have decided to support you, then they must pay for your tennis with ONLY one condition; that you will try your best and give 100% effort. This IS within your control and that’s what they can get in return; that you do the best you can.
This also what you must know. Even if you give your best, you may lose. At French Open, 128 players started the tournament, 127 lost. They all tried very hard to win but they didn’t.
I suggest you check the Q&A article where a player is afraid to disappoint himself and lose rankings.
And if your parents are open to these kind of topics, let them read my answer and other mental articles on my site. If you are playing one of the toughest mental sports, then they need to educate themselves about it so that they understand what’s going on here and that they can understand your feelings.
Your parents can start with the article about parent pressure in tennis and then check various post on this blog in the tennis parents category.
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June 21st, 2009 at 7:06 am
My advice is – just keep on playing and soon you will get used to the pressure. In my case, it was peer pressure that makes me nervous on the court. I know my mentor and friends are watching and they expect much from me. There are times when I say “sorry pals, i dissapointed you but let me train some more.” Losing is really difficult to accept ’cause we are expected to win all the time.
I do practice everyday and the results are encouraging. Parents should give their kids the time to bloomt and give them the best support through encouragement. Rome was not built in one day.