I’ve been playing tennis for about two years. I’ve always liked it  but I’ve never liked the competition aspect of it.

I just don’t understand the need for competition. All is see in it is to see who is the winner and who is the loser.

I find happiness in hitting the ball over the net not winning a match and then hurting the other person’s feelings because they lost. I love drills, practices, fake matches (when you don’t score) but I don’t like tournaments.

This past tournament I was favored to win. My first match was last night and I knew that I could beat the other girl 6,0-6,0. But I didn’t. Instead I got onto the tennis court and barely moved my feet farther than three steps. I hit balls I knew were far out.

I can hit well, I have good technique and am actually quite good but I don’t like the competition part. I try very hard in practices, lessons, and drills. Maybe i don’t like competitions because I already know I can beat the people so I find no use in proving it.

I really want to play more tennis but the only way I can is if i compete. But I hate competing and never want to. Is there something you recommend that I do?

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Thanks for sharing. If I understand you correctly, you mainly hate competition because you feel that you hurt others?

You didn’t mention the pain of losing which is usually the main reason why people hate competing…

But let’s address your view that you are “hurting” others when you win.

First, they chose to come to the tournament – you didn’t force them. If they chose to play competitive tennis, then they are responsible for all the consequences that come with that.

Your are not responsible for their feelings. They chose to play for points and they PERCEIVE losing as painful.

All immature people do. Some are young and some are already grown up – but they can be immature and will perceive losing as something extremely painful and humiliating.

But not all people perceive losing as painful.

Once you mature and have a more wiser look at things, you can perceive a loss as something very good. You can only learn from a loss.

It’s very likely that if you win, you quickly forget what really happened in the match and how you could have improved your game.

But if you lost and spent some time analyzing what happened, you will most likely find the main causes, work on your game (technical, mental, tactical, physical) and eventually improve yourself.

You’ll play better tennis because of this loss. The one who beat you was your best teacher.

This is how mature and more wise people look at losing in tennis.

And if you are winning, then you are the best teacher to those who lost to you. They may not realize it yet and may not be mature enough to let you know that, but that’s the reality of things.

They will most likely analyze their game, work on it and become better players – because of you.

So in short: you are not responsible for other people’s feelings if you beat them.

They CHOSE to play competitive tennis and they perceive losing as painful. Losing is not painful at all if you are mature and capable of honest self analysis.

And second, losing helps you find out weaknesses in your game that you were unaware of – and if you won, you helped someone become a better player.

Understand that most teenagers are immature and will blame you for their pain.

They have a long way to go but you already know now that they are wrong and that some will come to realize that they improved their game the most because you showed them their weaknesses.

I also want you to look at another aspect of this – and that is self-respect. If you are not really fighting in competitive tennis situation, you don’t respect your abilities and your skills.

You are an athlete. There is certain honor and respect associated with athletes. You are training your body and competing in a non-violent way and in sports code, there is always respect for the opponent and their effort.

That’s why we also shake hands and even if we win, we say come comforting words to the person who lost and we appreciate their efforts.

So when you go on court, you need to tap into that self respect and perform like an athlete.

Being an athlete doesn’t just mean that you move your body in certain ways to achieve results. It also means to behave properly – towards others and towards yourself. You need to show respect to others and to yourself.

Do the best you can every time you step on the court.

Honor yourself and your abilities and perform like most top athletes do – expressing yourself through sport to the best of your abilities.

I also want to talk about another idea – which is just playing tennis without competition.

I probably played in my life over 90% of times not playing for points. I just hit with my friends without any goal or result in mind. My goal was to enjoy.

I enjoy moving, hitting the ball in the middle, seeing the ball fly over the net, hitting close to the lines sometimes, hitting consistently and having control over the ball’s height, direction and speed and so on.

This is the joy of tennis and there are many of us who are in love with this game – especially in the non-competitive aspect of it.

I encourage you to enjoy the game this way and there is really no need to play for points. From my point of view, you are a free person and can choose what you want to do and what you like.

You will also bear all the consequences of your decisions – and that makes you wiser and smarter.

I don’t know if you ever explained to your parents or your coach how you feel about competition – in a way you explained to me. If someone respects you and your wishes, then they have no right to impose their will on you.

If you don’t like to play for points, then just play tennis and enjoy as much as you can.

That’s what I would suggest you if I were your coach and I’d also gladly hit with you without forcing you to prepare for matches and I would enjoy watching you enjoy the game.

Related posts:


• How To Stop Losing Against The Same Opponent
• Why Am I Not Giving My Best?
• How To Make The Best Of Your Talent
• The Non-Competitive Approach To Tennis And Life
• The Most Efficient Way To Improve Your Tennis

This entry was posted on Sunday, February 21st, 2010 at 9:29 am and is filed under Mental Tennis. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.