Dear Mr. Mencinger: Great blog and website. I need your help, please. I am an active club player. 31 yrs old playing my best overall game (good groundstrokes and volleys).

But for the last 2 years, my serve toss has been a struggle. I thought it was technique, but I have served well in the past. I tend to start serving well and then the moment I miss one toss, doubts kick in.

My tossing arm feels paralyzed and I forget what my toss motion (and overall serve motion) looked like. I start changing things out of nervousness.

I even once withdrew from a doubles tourney at the end of the first set because I could literally not toss anymore. Embarrassing. I had to claim my wrist hurt, but it was my mind (the ball would go to the side as opposed to up).

It seems that when I play singles, the toss is better because I don’t feel pressure of having a partner in front of me. But in doubles, I once even hit my partner on his back by swinging at a crazy toss.

My arm gets so tight that the ball comes out of my hand too early as if I was trying to throw the ball to the court beside me (again, embarrassing).

Can you please recommend an approach to develop a safe toss supported by a strong mind?

Am I thinking too much about the toss during a match? How do I forget about it and let my body just act? I am not enjoying my matches anymore.

I had to stop entering tourneys because I never know when the toss will all of a sudden leave my game and make me look like I just started playing tennis. Thank you! Regards.

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Hi J.,

Let’s go step by step to see what’s going on.

You say that “I tend to start serving well and then the moment I miss one toss, doubts kick in.”

This is the proof that there is nothing wrong with your toss technically. If you can toss well consistently, then your arm works fine and there’s no need to bother it anymore. Let you arm do the work – don’t interfere with your thinking.

Second, in the same sentence you say that when you miss just ONE toss, doubts kick in. This points to unrealistic and perfectionistic thinking.

It’s impossible to toss the ball EVERY time in the correct place especially if you’re a club player. Sooner or later the ball will end up slighly off the perfect spot.

That’s how it is. We are human and not robots.

If you don’t believe me, watch club players and if you wish even the pros.

While some pros really rarely miss their toss some do it more often.

From the top of my head I cannot really remember that Federer missed his toss, but I have seen Nadal, Murray, Del Potro, Roddick, Davydenko, Tsonga and plenty of other players toss the ball one more time when they missed the perfect spot.

(It took me only about 10 minutes to find a missed toss of one player on Youtube. See Tsonga miss one toss at around 0:30.)

What are your expectations? Do you want to be even more perfect than them?

How many tosses do you think Tsonga has done in his life and how many have you?

You should be much more realistic in your expectations and also more forgiving to yourself.

So what if you missed one toss. Toss again! No big deal, it’s normal.

You also mention in your question that missing a toss is embarrassing and that “I never know when the toss will all of a sudden leave my game and make me look like I just started playing tennis.”

It is this belief that causes you problems. The belief that if you miss one toss you will be embarrassed and that you will look like you started playing tennis.

Is that true? That one missed toss means that the player looks like he just started to play tennis?

This is your belief, not mine. It’s a very painful and harsh way of thinking that only hurts your game. If this belief does not serve you, then let it go.

Find a non-stressful reason (if you can) to keep that way of thinking. If you cannot, let it go.

I also suggest you talk to MANY players about this and ask them what does it mean to them if they see a player miss one serve toss.

Do they think that that player is a poor beginner? Regardless of what that player has demonstrated before and after that missed toss in terms of his play?

This is how you need to approach your beliefs and see that it’s your way of looking at a simple missed toss that causes all this drama in your mind.

I am sure you can remember the serve toss problems of Elena Dementieva a few years ago. I am sure she practiced her toss a LOT and yet she was unable to correct that problem in short time.

It is quite difficult to toss the ball in the exact same place over and over again. Here and there we miss. We also miss a second serve here and there. Or a baseline rally stroke.

Do you react in the same way? Probably not. Think about it why not and why you react when you toss one ball off the mark slightly.

The real solution for you is to accept that you can NEVER achieve perfection in tossing – the same way as other imperfect humans cannot.

I suggest you watch pro tennis really closely on TV and try to notice when a player has to toss the ball again. If you look for missed tosses, you will see them.

Once you see them, you will have more realistic expectations for yourself.

If you will miss one toss it will be totally normal to you – like it is to me or like it is to Murray.