I stumbled across your site by accident while trying to find tips to help my 11 year old daughter (12 in April).

She first picked up the racquet about 18 months ago and fell in love with tennis. We aren’t rich, but managed to get her a coach - he was quite young and she started to hit the ball over the net quite nicely.

He suggested that she enter some tournaments - so we entered her for some - it was a rude awakening.

She hadn’t been taught to serve and was playing against girls who had already been playing for 4-5 years… She lost every match 6-0 6-1. Out of 40 matches she won 4.

We decided that it was pointless putting her in matches until she could serve - so stopped entering tournaments and changed coach. She has played in a few tournaments recently and has done quite well - but her serve is still a huge problem.

She double faults regularly - sometime 2 or 3 a game. She is also finding it difficult to cope with the power of some of the other girls.

My question is - should she actually be competing in tournaments now…? Isn’t it better to wait until you have full confidence in your shots before competing?

Her coach seems to think that she will magically find her serve in a match situation - but this isn’t happening and it is eroding her self-confidence very quickly.

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I have a tennis tournament in only one weeks time! I want to have the right preparations such as diet, warm-up techniques…

I want to be physically and mentally ready for the tournament. What should I do?

Also, before I play, I tend to get butterflies in my stomache. How can I make my self-esteem high so I can play my game?

Here are a few tips on how to prepare for a tournament.

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Hi, I’m a junior player who’s just started playing tournaments this year.

All my coaches as well as kids and my parents say I’m fantastic and could be top 5 in the nation if I could play that way in matches.

I used to play top kids in practice and beat them badly. But recently in a low level tournament, I lost to a kid who was EXTREMELY BAD:) he lost to alot of other kids who aren’t very good and I lost to him 6-4 6-3.

It seems as thought I am the weakest and dumbest tennis player ever mentally and during matches; I’ve never come back and won from a set down. For me, it’s either win in straight sets or lose in straight sets.

My question is do you have any tips for me with my kind of tennis mental problem? Is there any way that I can overcome this mental weakness and be positive and relaxed during matches?

Cause I feel like I’m letting my coaches, parents, and myself down when I play like that.

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I would like to ask for some help. Today I played an opponent that totally took the rhythm out of my game.

He slowed the game down to a crawl. He took extremely long change-overs and he would take 30-40 seconds after each point to get ready for the next point.

He even hit himself, accidentally in the face and took about 5 minutes to get composed. This strategy seems to bother me the most. I have worked on it but I don’t have the experience to over come this just yet.

The score was 6-2, 4-6, 8-10, so I didn’t completely fall apart but my focus and rhythm became sporadic.

Please help me come up with some way to cope with this distraction.

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Hi Tomaz,

I recently purchased the Strategy Encyclopedia and really enjoyed reading it.

I haven’t had much of an opportunity to put it into practice, yet. As well as playing tennis recreationally (3.5-4.0 level) I also coach the high school boys team where I teach.

You said that you’d answer some questions regarding tennis. My questions are more in line with coaching the boys high school team.

These boys are 15-18 years old and most have very little experience playing tennis (about a year).

I was wondering what kind of tennis conditioning drills we could do during practice to help them to be in better shape to move around the court.

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Prof. Don Mueller is an expert on ambidextrous tennis and perhaps he can show you an alternative to your weak backhand. (besides many other benefits of playing two forehands)

I’ve had a few experiences with “double-forehand” tennis players in the past too.

I saw a couple of club players doing their best with ambidextrous tennis but later I met a well known writer Dan Millman through my friend Brent Zeller.

Dan told me, that he plays tennis ambidextrously and that there are not only physiological benefits of that but also mental. He said that playing two forehands “balances” his mind.

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My 8-year old daughter played a match and lost 1:4 and 1:4.  Her opponent was not that much better.  

She should be able to beat her but my daughter lost all her service games and served without control.

I watched this match and I guess she missed because she was nervous.  She cannot control herself.

Whenever she is not better than around 50% of serves in, I can already see a double fault. Don’t ask what my husband is feeling…

I know that you have various experiences about this case, pls help.

Hi and thanks for sharing. I’ll go straight to the point.

You say:

“Whenever she is not better than around 50% of serves in, I can already see a double fault. Don’t ask what my husband is feeling…”

So you and your husband are both feeling NERVOUS as soon as your daughter misses the first serve, right?

And now you expect 8 year old girl NOT to be nervous? Can you NOT be nervous? Can you do it?

Can you believe in her serve even when you know it’s not perfect yet and that her percentage is around 50%? You probably don’t and so doesn’t your daughter.

That’s why she misses.

YOU have to be the first to believe. YOU have to be the first to be calm.

She will follow. She is always following. Even now when you are both nervous. So is she. She can feel you.

This is step 1.

Step 2 is to figure out why are you all nervous. What does it mean to you if she loses or misses?

Take it easy. Children, especially girls are not mentally strong at 8 years old. (with very very few exceptions) They need to be supported when they lose and never criticized.

This tennis journey of your daughter is not only about her changing. It’s also about you changing.

Especially the father who puts so much pressure and nervousness on all results. She cannot handle that.

It is through her results and play that you will see how you affect her.

Hopefully your love for her will be stronger than your ego to be more than other people. Hopefully your love for her will make you change and be less nervous and less obssessed with the results.

Then she will play better and you’ll also get that satisfactory feeling of being a parent of a good tennis player.

This is the part of the parent in this tennis journey.

We coaches teach technique, tactics and how to calm down and focus if there are nerves present. Your role as a parent is that there aren’t any nerves present.

If your daughter feels that she dissapoints you with a loss, she will be nervous. When she is nervous she won’t play well.

Read these two sentences again and again to really get them.

It is that simple problem. The solution lies deep in you.

Tomaz! I have bought both your e-books and they have been more than helpful. I might give you my story later on.

But first, I’m really unhappy. Got a problem with my left knee.

And I went to see an orthopedist. Over stressed tendon. (Don´t know the English terminology)

Anyway. No tennis. Rest and building up my muscles around the knee - for 12 month!!!

How do I handle this situation? Yes, I will rest my knee from hard tennis training and I will go to the gym.

What can I do to approve my tennis anyway? I’m allowed to stand still and hit balls. I’m not allowed to run or jump.

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My son is one year old. I wanna make him superstar like Roger Federer.

How should I start preparing him for a tennis career?

When should he start playing tennis and how should I proceed to achieve his success?

First, let me share my opinion on this topic.

Your son is NOT your property.

It is not morally right to MAKE something out of your son. He is a free person and when he grows up a little more he needs to have free will to choose whatever he likes to do whether you like it or not.

A parent is just a guide. You can show him what you think is good in life and then let him choose whether he likes that too or not.

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Hi! I recently ordered your e-book on mental toughness and would like to ask a question about my tennis.

I have a wonderful forehand against the machine and my tennis coach.

However, during match play, every time I try to do things the “right way”, the ball goes long.

I’m pretty sure my issue is in my head and not one of technique. Any suggestions?

What “worries” me a little bit in your short description are the words “the right way”.

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